Manchester United 4-4 Everton: A comeback quicker than an angry belieber

For those who don't know who/what a "belieber" is, then you're a lucky, lucky person. Also for the "angry beliebers" that find their way onto this page, thanks I needed the extra hits.

Now they've gone I'll say I don't normally do match reports but for me this was one of the games of the season (because of bias) and Tony Hibbert got two assists, these kind of games don't happen every year.

Everton started very brightly, there's less pressure left on them now after Saturday (I hate Andy Carroll), all they have left to challenge for in their season is pride and finishing above Liverpool. You could see that Moyes had them raring to go as they took the game to United in the first 20 minutes.

I must say that while he had a bit more in the transfer kitty than previous seasons, Moyes has been shrewd but excellent in the transfer market once again. Darron Gibson (playing against his old club today) has settled in excellently next to Fellaini in midfield. His array of passing is sublime and he can dig deep and help grind out results as well. He's turning into Everton's Paul Scholes. But of course the best piece of business bar Papiss Cisse has got to be Jelavic. He's 'jelled' with the team quickly and after today he's bagged himself 6 goals in 9 games. That's more than Yakubu in his entire career at Everton!*.

On 33 minutes the Croatian continued his fine goal scoring form by nodding a Tony Hibbert cross (yes, you read that right) over De Gea into the United net. Old Trafford stunned...

Then Rooney and Welbeck scored... Possible partnership at the Euros? (Once Rooney serves his ban of course). Oh and Nani scored as well...

It was 3-1 with 67 minutes gone, the United fans were relaxing and Fergie (wearing Nike trainers... no me either) was having a laugh with the Fourth Official. Probably discussing how he wouldn't need that much injury time this game after all.

But they didn't count on one man stepping forward, bursting down the right wing with lightning pace and delivering a pinpoint cross into the box, Hibbert had another assist. It was actually a decent finish by Fellaini who has recaptured his form of last season before that *insert expletive here* Kyriagkos broke his leg. A powerful volley into the bottom corner that De Gea couldn't keep out (been hearing that a lot this season though).

Then Rooney scored... again...

United's 2 goal lead was restored once again, the crowd began to relax (again) and Fergie kept chewing (it's like he's sponsored by Orbit). But then Jelavic scored... again. The ball was headed by Rio onto Jonny Evans' head and fell nicely for Jelllyfish to slot into the bottom corner.

Tension rose again through the Trafford faithful, and before you could say Bilyaletdinov the ball was past De Gea (again) and Everton had pulled off the comeback of the season. This goal was probably our best, it was nice build up play before Fellaini turned and found the run of Pienaar who cooly slotted home.

Fergie time then followed but Everton held out after a late scare from Rio (could you imagine the amount of tweets if that had gone in). Final score: Man U 4-4 Everton.

Oh, final point. Peter Odemwingie = Legend

*Statistics may not be 100% correct

Read More »

We've signed Two and a Half Men

Looking back through the Football Hearsay archives I noticed that I hadn't done a Sheen FC update in a while. So, without further ado here it is...

After being top at Christmas Sheen FC have dropped down to second and are looking up at a huge points gap between them and 1st place. The recent transfer window has shut and three new faces have joined up with the squad to train with head coach Steve Claridge.

Kyle Walker, Fab Collocini and Vincent Kompany all come in to join Leighton Baines to sure up the defence.

Unaware that Collocini is probably out for the season I made a dick move and didn't look at the players I was signing. I'm willing to hold my hands up and admit some poor management on my part.

Here's how the league table stands at the moment:

As you can see the infamous team 'blah' are coming back to haunt us, they now occupy 3rd place and are making a late assault for the title. Let's hope the new signings settle in and go for the league. 

Keep on Winning

(p.s. did you see what I did with the title? Because of the injury, huh? Huh? Yeah, that's right.)

Read More »

Scholes the passmaster

I decided to take an unconventional view on the game at Old Trafford today and watch one player. There was of course a lot of talent on show in Manchester but the one man out there that consistently performs is the old master himself, Paul Scholes. It turned out that I was basically watching the whole game anyway.

Every good thing United did today went through Scholes three or four times and he still has it, age has not hit him like it does to mere mortals. Many write off players once they pass 33/34 but the role Scholes plays and his impeccable ability has allowed him to continue this long. Being that he has such an array of passing, all he had to do was sit in an area which ranged from the centre circle to just outside the QPR box. He just moved into space allowing United to pass through him and create their attacks.

The way Scholes played the game means that he can fit into a Premier League team, had he been a winger the pace of the English game would’ve probably been too much for him. Unless you’re Ryan Giggs, that must be the yoga or something.

 From the outset in an overcast Manchester he was spraying the ball from left to right perfectly every time. He was vital to every United move and it showed after he was substituted to a standing ovation. United had less guile, they couldn’t break down Rangers with such ease.

But we can’t overlook the fact that Man U’s job was made a little easier thanks to some shocking decisions from both the referee and his linesman on the far side to allow an offside Ashley Young to dive and win a disgustingly cheap penalty, but enough of that.

Scholes finished off a classic performance with one of his trademark strikes, bullet into the bottom corner out of Kenny’s reach. I said to myself at half time after watching him that he’d score the next goal. I contemplated putting a bet on it but after deliberation decided against it. What an idiot I am, the odds were 11/1 and had I been brave I’d be sitting here looking at a nice £110.

But my failure out of the way, Scholes rightly received the Man of the Match award (from Gary Neville) and his return has really rejuvenated United and it looks as if he will push them towards another league title. Best free transfer of the season by far.

Read More »

We are top of the League, say we are top of the league

Sheen FC are top at Christmas!

More to come shortly

#SheenFC #Winning

Read More »

Merry Christmas

Well at the moment I can't be bothered to write anything meaningful, so instead here's a heartfelt message from myself to you all, wishing you festivity and joy this Christmas, and hopefully lots of money, that helps, and hey, maybe if you do get money you could send some to me, these hilarious articles don't come on the cheap you know. I've got a team of writers sitting here thinking of puns left, right and centre. It's a competitive industry and you've got to have the best.

Gracias y ¡Feliz Navidad

Read More »

Euro piece of shi...

Well it's that time again Ladies and Gentlemen, for England to rise again above everyone and crush the feeble opposition that stand before them and reign superior again... Or that's how the media (alright, The Sun) will portray it in the months leading up to Euro 2012. But we all know that the media is run by the underground British Mafia and that you can't trust the system!...

Or something along those lines anyway, but looking at the group, I think England have a great chance of progre.... Haha, what am I saying, we will inevitably fail again, and here's why.

1. We beat Spain, it can't get better than that, quite literally, it will be regarded as Capello's greatest and only achievement and will be forgotten in history as the only legacy will be the constant clip of Rob Green spilling that infamous shot into his own net, I really hope that image isn't what is remembered of Fabio, but I fear that will be the case...

2. Watch the video above, that explains everything

So England have to fend of the likes of Sweden, Ukraine and... FRANCE!!! You mean the team that went on strike during the World Cup, Hahahahahaha, this will be easy!!!

England Euro 2012 Champions

Gracias

Read More »

This is such a shock, I'd like to thank my mum and my pet rock...

So, I didn't even notice but recently the site hit its 3000th view, and the winner is!.... Oh... Well it was me, along with the other 2999 views on this site, but carrying on, I'd like to thank everyone who viewed this site, for whatever motive you had, whether it was for the humour, or the opinionated stories, or you just happened to click on here by mistake, whatever happened I value you all equally, except my one valued reader from Bosnia and Herzegovina, you mate, are the greatest.

So yeah, thanks and all

Gracias

Read More »

FIFA games and Alcohol

No, it's not my parody of an Oasis song (although now you say it, I might do that...) But continuing, it's not long now until I attend one of my mates (yeah, joke all you want) gatherings, here he is planning on playing a FIFA drinking game, now I'm not good at FIFA or drinking alcohol so you can kind of see where this is going, they are absolutely determined to get me drunk because, supposedly I'm funny sober (yeah, you read that right) so they think I'd be hilarious drunk, I'm not so sure...

Here's why

1. Alcohol is a depressant, so my normal hilarious self (what?) will be utterly destroyed by this toxin filled rubbish that I will be ultimately forced by peer pressure to "down".

2. It only works if you want it to, I will be so reluctant to do it that once I do do it (hehe do do) I will be so annoyed at myself for doing it, that it will probably enhance my depression causing everyone to hate me.

3. In the small space of time that I will have drunk the optimum amount of alcohol to unleash the party animal inside me, I will have lost at least 2 more games of FIFA and be out cold, either that or forced to go to the brothel across the road. (That's right, he lives opposite a known brothel, I KNOW!)

4. I'm making this organised list about alcohol, suggesting to you that I'm neither fun nor cool enough to be handling more than one shot of whatever they decide to poison my liver with

So, about mid way through December you'll get my update on my pitiful attempt at this FIFA tournament and my other updates on my newly acquired liver disease.

Gracias

Read More »

Better Leighton than Never

What? It's a clever title, don't come here with your anti-Everton attitude, just because we beat Wolves and are now up to 12th (COYB), but this isn't even about Everton (for once), this is of course, our regular weekly (sort of) update about Sheen FC, that's right, after the players returned from their International duties last week to a harsh training regime laid out by my second in command Steve Claridge, Steve and the boys trained hard for this week and it paid off (mostly), Leighton Baines topped the pile with this weeks top score of 12 points followed by Sergio Aguero's 8 in a relatively quiet week for the lads.



It means that we lose pace on the runaway leaders at the top, but as long as Van Persil breaks his leg soon then we'll be fine. On a final note, look at the team in 3rd!! It's team Blah, I told you they were a threat, I knew it!!

I'll get Steve and the scouting team on a reconnaissance mission to the Blah training ground to get a few tips on how they are playing.

COYSFCIW!!

Read More »

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, the Premier League's great and the MLS is too

Good afternoon/morning/late night (so eager to read that you stayed up til 3am, I am touched) But yes, we are getting about equal amounts of traffic from the UK and the US, SO, I had a huge brainstorming session of how I could link the two with football, after hours of deliberating, I came up with this.

I'm sure you can all see how I came to that logical conclusion, it's quite simple, we n... Everton need Landon Donovan back (No more bias, I promise), on a more serious note Moyes needs him back in the team, he had an amazing impact on the team when he joined two years ago on loan from LA Galaxy, he instantly became a fan favourite (along with myself, AHH! ok, no more bias) he chipped in with two goals and a few assists and injured Ashley Cole in his short tenure with the Blues (Legend), but the thing he brought to the table that we.. Everton valued the most was his pace ,okay, you can say, "Oh, but Andy, Drenthe's got pace as well, even more than Donovan". To which I reply, "How the hell did you get my phone number?" But stalkers aside, he had discipline within his play which is something that Drenthe lacks at the moment, probably most obviously his red card against Chelski.

I seriously think that he would make a huge difference to Everton and that Moyes needs to be on the next cross-Atlantic flight to Los Angeles and find Donovan's house, ring the doorbell, hide just out of view and when he opens the door, Moyes and Hibbert pounce, restrain Landon and drag him back on that return cross-Atlantic back to John Lennon airport... Or we could just loan him again, your choice David, do it my way and it's quick and painless or do it your way and don't get a criminal record, it's your choice!...

But I digress, I hope my completely non-biased take on that subject has been full value for the UK readers and our cross-Atlantic viewers also, remember, always wear a seatbelt...

UP THE TOFFEES!!

Read More »